The Earliest Stage

I keep getting confused about getting confused,
and at heart I know I am being used,
but it adds to the fun and I leave the strings loose,
Flying, swimming in the emotions that I can not choose,
I sometimes wonder the benefit is whose,
and then leave the thought , thinking let the time choose.

I keep getting confused about pretending,
lying to myself and others standing,
The facts come some times rock solid
some times I complicate the things trying amending,
I sometimes wonder the benefit is whose,
and then leave the thought , thinking let the time choose.

They think I am fighting with thyself,
I know I am fighting with myself,
And I simply sometimes wonder the benefit is whose,
and then leave the thought , thinking let the time choose.